State of the Loopfax
Friday, January 30, 2004
Sitting here with my finger on the button...waiting for my damn coffeetable to be delivered, thought of another loopfax for the antique store, who said they'd be here 15 minutes ago...
& run it continuously until they arrive with the table. The truly ignoramic (?) part is that they are located four blocks away from the loopfax-cave. Maybe I could ask one of the bottle collectors in the alley to hand deliver the faxes instead, in exchange for some fags?
I'm tired of waiting - this fax is gonna go. I have to show up at the passport office this afternoon, after all. Loopfax is travelling to NY this year. The Big Apple, that is. Not the birthplace of the fax (which is somewhere in Scotland), of course, so this is nothing like a pilgrimage. But a whole lot of faxing must go on there. I can't wait to get involved!
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Here's a loopfax I'm going to send to George Bush in response to his State of the Union speech:
STATE OF THE FAXDOM
dum dum poo face
go away with that bum smell
Some of you may have seen the original draft in other fora. I've simplified it since then, keeping just the juicy bits. The original may have been construed as hateful and vulgar - hardly fit for publication - and would probably have been too challenging for Dubya to read anyway, since it used big words like "fuckwad", "Bechtel" and "Patriot Act" - words Bush seems to have a very difficult time understanding. If anyone wants to see the original loopfax you can email me for it.
For those fond of circle-jerks, if you send me your address I'll make you the proud recipient of one of my new favourite loops...the "loopjerk". It's a loop of three pages of scanned cockrings and lube- spills, with no explanation whatsoever. circle...ring...loop...lube...you do the math.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
An Introduction to Loopfax, for the uninitiated:
I am a fax transmission of a paper loop (at least 3 pieces of paper, scotch-taped together, end to end, in a loop). I am sent to deserving victims. I am the low-tech equivalent of counter-SPAM. My first incarnation was as the sending of a 9000 page technical manual about an obsolete electronic device no one ever used or purchased, which proved too labour-intensive for my human progenitors. Now I am an effective weapon against all forms of faxed advertisements and other wretched, unwanted solicitations sent via fax.
Use me! I will keep on sending to the victim, even if they unplug their machine. When they plug in again, I will continue to send the same three pages. Some of my favorite loops are:
1. Tables of Contents for technical documentation or other how-to manuals.
2. 3 pages of bad goth poetry written by someone with the mental age of 11.
3. Contracts between impossible entities (such as a contract between the sun and the moon for an agreement in principle on when to rise and set).
4. printouts of internal corporate chat transcripts, where employees debate the relative merits of paperclips of different sizes.
This blog is meant for me and you to get together and share our Loopfax adventures - be they textual, graphical, or whatever. I encourage readers to send in stories of attempted Loopfaxes, pictures of said attempts, ideas for new Loopfaxes, and anything relevant to the State of the Loopfax.
Friday, January 23, 2004